the time is nearing...

dear diary,
buenas dias diary hihi and yup, like i stated above, the time is nearing.

only one word for me to say, Alhamdulillah. diary, it has been my dream since i was a kid to further my study in a university. i have always imagined myself sitting under a tree, studying, alone or with friends, it does not matter, but that image has not left my mind since i was little. and soon, i may get the chance to live that dream : )

am i scared?
yes. truth be told, i do feel scared. people always ask, why? what are you scared of?

well the only answer to that is, i dont know. i dont know what am i scared of but i know i am. i am scared of the unknown. i dont know what to expect once i get there but i will keep an open heart and open mind. my lecturer says that is important: to keep an open heart and open mind. it helps in adapting to new places. and one thing im scared of is, what if i dont know how to do d assignments? mmm the only thing that consoles me to that is, i have my 52 friends to lend a hand and i can always get in touch with my family here for help, and i know my friends here in malaysia would help : ) alhamdulillah im surrounded by beautiful people with beautiful hearts. may Allah always bless them.

i have to be ready physically, mentally, and emotionally. i am still healing and this ramadhan month has been a great blessing. its like a light that focuses on your wound and slowly heals it.
but i have only one worry, i hope he wont treat me like this after marriage. the rift we're having now i may not mind so much since we're coupling. but i really hope this 'rift' doesnt happen after marriage. i hope he does not take me and my love for granted. i would love that someone to the ends of the world, my only hope is, the man that i would marry would not take it for granted. i dont want d situation ' mentang2 da kawin, awak da dapat saya, awak biarkan je ape yg berlaku, and tak kisah da what happens to me' .....hehe, i can only think of this dialogue to express my worry. my friend says, if that is what you worry, then it is important for me to find the right man. 'a man who would not use me, a man who would love me and care for me and will be able to lead me to the right path'.-i thank lala for this hihi. pray that i will find him, and if he is the man that i'm with presently, i could only hope things will be ok when we're married.