The Adam's family

Dear diary,

Before I die, I intend to make one thing clear to the people around me, is that I love them very much. I would love each in their very own way and I intend to make them know it so that I could go in peace.

I would like to tell you about the Adam's family. No, its' not the cartoon series about the vampire couple, and zombie kids, no, I am actually talking about Adam's family, whom I have grown to love so much.

You remember Adam don't you? Hehe, goodness, I actually do wish he is around right now. It would be great to squash some things around, eat, cook and just go anywhere. He honestly made my third final year in warwick a really happy one. When I say happy, I meant, really really happy. I couldnt remember not feeling happy when Im with him. I don't think I have really appreciated him the way I wanted to. Things happen as time flies and well...that is life isnt it. I have also remembered thinking and praying that I would get to feel this happy just a lil bit more longer cuz truly it is a rare moment. I intend to make up for it insyaAllah.

I have never really talked about Adam's sister haven't I? Gosh, she's crazy haha she is the craziest and most raven-like version I have ever met in my life. She is so like raven sometimes and she is like the best friend you never had, she is also the sister you'd never imagined to have and she is also the reggae singer that you thought you'd never meet! I know the way I'm putting this sounds off but that's how I see her. I will never forget the time when I first met her.

The first time, I met Siti, I was actually thinking that she is brave. First, she came to my birthday party and second she came for breakfast with a couple of my friends and from there, we got to know one another. I thought she was brave because even though we do not really know each other, she was out there you know and she is not afraid to meet new people and its kinda like let life takes its course kinda thing. I remember thinking about this when I saw her coming through the door, and i was upstairs in my pyjamas, just peeking down for a while before I decided to come down. As friendly as I appear to be, I do feel nervous and self-conscious around people. It is a thing I never really get rid of since I was a child.
 Anyway, so yeah that is how we got to know each other. I loved each time we talked, each time we singgg, each timee she would bake her apple crumble, mmmmmmmmmm it is soooo soo gooooddd! God, I'd like to have those again! I love it when she is around. It's just like you know when she comes, all of us would go sitiiiiiiiiiii haha and i miss doing that! she would go on and give me an awkward look, but thats just her and i love her for who she is. If only she knows just how much I love having her in my life. actually on the day at the airport, i wanted to tell her all of this. But, i dont know what i was thinking at that time. i didnt want that one person to get hurt etc etc..... but how dare I deny myself from hugging and saying my final goodbyes to one of my dearest friend. i love her and im actually really praying that id get to meet her soon.

pre-story

Dear diary,

How do I begin...?
I have been watching the nanny a lot recently and there are some useful things I picked up from the show. One of them is that sometimes you gotta open up your eyes to see what's already in front of you and be grateful for it.

What am I talking about? Well the nanny always ramble about not having a mansion, or a family, kids, a gorgeous husband, a profession things like that but all the while, in Maxwell Sheffield's house, she is actually living what she has been fantasizing all along.

This is what Im talking about, and when you reflect on it, it makes you think you know. it makes you think that sarah, you have more than what one could actually pray for. You have a beautiful family, alhamdulillah, you have pets, you are studying and insyaAllah will soon have a career and you have great friends honestly and whats missing is the love of your life thats all, but Allah has His own plan and with His will, it too shall come soon. So honestly, why am I feeling so sad and alone and so depressed? actually this is not what i wanted to write actually. ok, im ending this right here. i wanted to write about something else haha, alright, will see u soon!

It's time to let go...

Dear diary,

I have moved on. I shall not let my love be wasted like that anymore. I thought even after I convinced everything in my heart to him, he would be there for me. But no. Thats it. And it snapped me right out of my system. Its alright, I am not angry anymore. I have begun to accept that fact and dear diary, I am ready to move on. 

Heart, its okay...let it go....be in peace...move on. You have your own life now...its time to make the most of it and be free and cherish the ones who love you, appreciate you and accept you for who you are...Fill your life with these people because life is only worth living because of them.