Saturday, October 23, 2010


dear diary,

ive gone to leamington today. leamington spa to be exact and my, what a wonderful place it is. the road that i took was the kenilworth road and we had to pass kenilworth town to get there too. and it was all so country side like. it was beautiful. it is certainly so much different than coventry town. it had come to my mind to conclude that coventry was more of a busy town like place while kenilworth and leamington was more country side like, and was of a place for resting for that is certainly the atmosphere it gave away.

leamington was white. the buildings were all white like creams on a cake, the colour white on canvas where it looks like someone's painted oil paint on all of the buildings to create a regent look, an old look, where old england i've read, that particular place for that matter was like that. the road was from up the hill to the lowest, white all over, beautiful parks, so cold for there were many trees, and absolutely adorable dogs everywhere. it was like going into a storybook where the places are lined up perfectly, and even when it is not perfect, there would be something to dazzle it a bit. music filled the air by talented street musicians who played for their own pleasure and find their own living. i must say, my stay in england has been pretty much like a movie that ive been unconsciously casted for. im still having a hard time believing that im here and insyaAllah will be for the next three years.

i bought a movie, finding neverland, and it was divine. leamington allows your imagination to take you to wherever you need to go. and so did this movie. it encourages you to believe what you want to believe, and you dont need to be all that proper, just as long as you dont restrict yourself from having fun in the right manner, it would be lovely. dont be afraid of your imagination. ive always believed in that but ive hard time expressing it with people around me. among my brothers, i cans simply be myself and let myself go, for they too can imagine what i imagine and we shared a special bond through that. it is what has kept us close since we're kids. however, with me and my friends, only a few of them i can truly be myself around them and i dont know why. i can always do that, if i want to, but sometimes i dont. i truly, really wonder why. ive been so self conscious that i constrain myself from having the fun that i want. this is not the life that i want. therefore, i shall start make a difference starting from right now. im going for a picnic tmrw and let us see how shall i behave and wanting to make a difference regarding my life. i know i can do better. i know i can just let myself go and stop worrying so much. i guess it is just what people especially grownups keep on telling, a lot of things you may lose when you grow up, the things you may believe in when you were kids, you dont allow yourself to think of it anymore because one always seem to think that it is of no use as 'reality' always get hold of things. but reality can be of a great joy too of one does not forget their inner child for it is this, is what keeps the spirit young and alive,our spirits will not be wasted and we would not worn out. i hope i wont forget my inner child, not now and not ever. i still do imagine stories in my head and act them out when im alone, i sing and i dance to keep myself entertain. it is what i like to do since i was a kid, and i am never ever going to quit doing that for i would like my children to have that as well. i would want them to have a beautiful life, full of imagination, wonders and things that other people would not encourage them to have. i want them to look at life differently; that although there are so many bad things in the world and we are aware of that, keep on believing the good things, for they too happen in this world and not all are bad, there are still some wonders around us, you just have to open your eyes and heart to them, and you will see it!

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