Dear diary,
I miss him. Regardless of what others say, I do miss him. Miss him so much that it hurts. It is different when u miss a friend, but when u miss that special someone, u know d feelings different because it pulls in different directions and ur mind is constantly elsewhere. People say, Sarah, u look sad, ure quiet but have u ever thought that maybe she just misses somebody and all she wants is to be with him? Yeah I was outgoing and I am everywhere and so active a long time ago. Well, Im still am, its just im active elsewhere and im outgoing elsewhere, when im with him, because there is where i want to be. I havent changed, im still me, its just my attention has changed. Is that so wrong? I try hard not to neglect my friends. I try my very best to still spend some time with them but who can deny what i want? I love spending my time around him, thats all.
And yes, i am trying to lessen my bond with friends who are guys because i dont know, when uve met that someone, u wudnt feel like going out with other men because well u just dont really feel like it and besides he wouldnt like it as well. I didnt get that at first, but ive asked a few guys about this and yeah, most would say they wouldnt like the girl they like to hang out with guys too much. And yes, people say im not his gf yet so why wud u want to do that? The thing is, right now, thats how i feel. I do still love my friends dont get me wrong, its just, at the moment, i dont know with me going back n all, knowing it wud be long till i get to see him again, its just so.....emotional and im sorry if anyone felt like ive ignored them, but sorry, i cant please evrybody. At the moment, i just miss him.
It doesnt matter whether what i have with him will work out or not and people say, sarah, its risky. Yes i know. Ive felt it and ive discussed it with hiim before. But me just by being me, I just want to live the moment. While it is still there, and yes i do think of the future, and it would be a lie if i dont want to see myself with him, but thats in the future, and insyaAllah, i know Allah will guide me through and i know somethings happening right now in the oblivion that it wud direct me towards my future, just as the events before me had happened. it had lead me here and ill wait patiently to know whats coming up next.
I just miss him, as a friend, as more than friends, I miss him and although he can be the most annnoying person ive met in my life, but Gosh, he honestly drives me crazy and each moment that i could be with him, especially in real life, is a blessing and it makes me soo happy.
Alright, gotta continue packing. Got a lot more to go. See ya, bye.
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