I should let you know that things are over. Why? How?
Lets just say, it just didnt work out. I do not want to point any fingers...I am past being angry...i was angry, i was bitter, i had the maximum load of being jealous. i was sad, i cried, i never knew so much pain could come from loving someone.
But that is over now. I am trying to see from a new perspective. Perhaps all those feelings just tells me how much i have fallen for a man... and well, how much i need to recover...
in this love, ive lost more than someone to love in the end...ive lost myself either. i have given in so much, sacrifice a part of who i am so much that i got lost. its just when im back in malaysia that i slowly feel like im recovering like myself again because i have my family.
i want to change for the better. i have always wanted that. and i pray no one will stop me this time. but i need to remember that who ever and what ever that stands in my way from being close to Allah, i should be stronger and fight whatever it is in front of me. there should be no one, not even myself that could or should stop me from fighting for Allah.
that is eternally worth fighting for.
i have deviated so much and i pray that Allah's light will be in our hearts till the end of the day...
i have faith in Him, that He will bring us back and alhamdulillah He has given me the courage to do so.
Allah help me get through this one.... I just want Your blessing...keredhaanMu...
i pray you have a good life.... i have loved you more than i thought i would. you were truly a different person. i have never met anyone like you. as much as i am filled with anger and sadness, i would like to think of you and be reminded you of the best things you are. We pave our destiny...and but Allah shall bring us where we are destined to be.